A few weeks ago at MOPS, a member of our group was sharing something that was bothering her, and how she helped fix it.... She had tears flowing and her thoughts spoke to me, but unfortunately life got crazy as usual and I had forgotten all about her story, that is until last night....
This woman shared how she and her family went on vacation and during this vacation she realized she did not really "like" her husband anymore... She was tired of the disgust she felt and was sick of feeling as if she was going at it all alone... However, she knew she still loved this man. Once she got home, she decided to stop the fighting and bickering and just be NICE to her husband even though she didn't want to... She would rub his back in passing, kiss him hello when he got home from work, ask him how his day was and really be interested in his answer. Little things.... She admitted she didn't want to be nice she really just wanted to KICK him lol... but she refrained.... Anyway, she said that in just a few short days she saw results. He in turn was nicer to her. She no longer forced herself to "be nice" instead, she was going out of her way to be nice... She explained to our MOPS group that being nice changed her marriage...
This brings me to what made me remember this story.... Last night, the kids went to bed, Jason worked out, I went on the interwebz.... After he finished his work out he warmed up his dinner and brought it into the office to eat while talking to me.... He tried to start a conversation, but I was immersed in my online surfing and yes, I ignored him. I did however hear him smacking his lips as he ate and it annoyed me. I voiced this annoyance... (I know I'm mean). Needless to say, he ate in the kitchen and I went to bed mad at myself for not being nice....
At times I feel like I am nice all day long, but no one is to me... Once the kids are in bed, I just want to turn off and RELAX by myself alone with my thoughts (or with some titillating blogs lol)....
This morning I came across a blog discussing the importance of being nice.... it was a sign.
Heather wrote: And I don't think you can focus on people not being nice to you. I think sometimes you have to step out on a limb and be nice irregardless. Sometimes it's going to be one sided and we have to put on our big girl panties and accept that. Whether it's your spouse, partner, friend, neighbor, or kids. Because more than likely it's not personal even though it may feel intensely so.
After reading this I became inspired, I was going to be nice to my husband... Crazy idea huh?!? We aren't having any significant problems, no problems really, sometimes I just think were are on that highway of parenting traveling at high speeds in different lanes swerving past each other recklessly.... We just need to get back in the same lane together.... Maybe my being nice will help that.... hmmmm..................
9 thoughts:
I had Mike read your post and he thinks all women should follow your lead. Great post! :)
thanks... i'm enmbarrassed now!
that was a real thanks.... not snarky like it sounds :)
I think it is very nice post. I have a sign in my house that says
"It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice."
I think it is so true.
Reminds me of a book I just started reading- the Love Dare. The first dare in it is not saying anything negative/critical to your husband. Then you have to keep it up the next day and so on. I'm finding it challenging at times, but I think being kind to our husbands will definantly reap good results and a happier husband.
Everyone can always afford to be nicer to other people. Sometimes it's REALLY hard but it's always worth it in the end.
Though I have to say I'm flashing back to an incident at mine and Noah's place in Colorado with you and Jason and I am laughing because you have changed SO much since then!
Bite your tounge Brandis Alexandria! My children may one day read this lol ;)
Sorry! :) At least I didn't list any of the alleged incidents...
And wow - I got the entire name thrown at me... You and Warren would get a long great. He's a huge fan of using Brandis Alexandria - ugh!
Being nice really does go a long way. I tend to PMS to the point that I can't even stand myself...so I really feel for the boyfriend (lol)...but even though he irritates me to no end when he doesn't change the toilet paper roll or leaves his dishes laying around..there is a nice way to voice these things. It's all about communication in every relationship.
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